


Deities and Dynasties

by LeoOtherLands



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Origin Story, Angst, Canon Divergence, Developing Friendships, Eventual Smut, Fighting for those you love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, POV Original Character, Slow Build, letting go of the past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 01:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoOtherLands/pseuds/LeoOtherLands
Summary: Shortly after Ichigo Kurosaki regains his Soul Reaper abilities, something strange begins to happen in Hueco Mundo. An unknown being holds a Soul Reaper captive for an uncertain purpose. In the Seireitei, Ikkaku and Yumichika encounter someone odd, and Sixth Squad receives a new member, much to Renji's displeasure and misfortune... A misfortune which only grows deeper as the new, young Soul Reaper draws the Shinigami into the depths old and tangled secrets.





	Deities and Dynasties

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, my imagination run wild on the thought of what it would be for a young Soul Reaper, fresh from the Academy, to be dropped into the world of the canon characters. I wanted to know what this person's story would be and what they would feel. My imagination got away from me...

“Give me that Soul Slayer, _Shinigami_.”

– Ichigo Kurosaki

“Always face forward. Never look behind.”

– The God of Hollows

 

“Why did you bring me here, Imuri?”

I looked sidelong at the Soul Reaper in the white _Shihakushō_. He slumped on the white, stone throne, gripping the hilt of the graceful Soul Slayer laying unsheathed across his lap, its dancing ribbons fluttering back from the pummel. The black, uneven wings of his hair were the only shadows in his whiteness. A thin, delicate hand pressed over the white Hollow, half mask covering his face. Too worn to even resist anymore.

I shifted to face him, instead of the white, unending desert surrounding the tumbled rocks marking what remained of the God Den, my long coat rustling. “To help you understand, Nagato. I have been watching you since the day you were born to Soul Society for this purpose.”

His hand fell from his face. Lines of crystal tears traced from his eyes, the human eye on one side and the black, Hollow eye on the other. One of the ribbons undulating from the pummel of his _Zanpakuto_ had pierced him in the chest. It was clear in the strain of his face, the bloodless wound pained him, but the tears were not for that.

“They’re coming to save me.”

“They will die.”

His head clicked against the back of the throne even as he slid down further on its seat, his hair a slick, black trail above his head. Something in this show of pain twisted a new thing in me. Though, I tried to deny it.

“There is a way you can save them, Nagato. You know what it is.”

Perhaps he still had some will to resist after all. He struggled a little on the throne, against the dancing ribbons, which held him firm, before settling back, gasping through his tears. I felt I could almost pity him, this _Shinigami_ willing to fight so hard.

I sighed, glanced up at the crescent moon of _Hueco Mundo_ , but the eternal night sky of the Hollow World offered me no inspiration on how to deal with such a soul emotion as pity. At a loss, I cast my gaze around the ruins. My eyes met Harrow’s. The _Fuku-kami_ was still and sedate at the edge of the dais stairs. His face, under his calcified, Hollow mask, unreadable. The feelings of greater Hollows would forever remain a mystery. Even to me. In any case, Harrow would be of no help to me, I doubted whether he, himself, knew pity. He had come for the singular understanding of blood, not for any sense of kindness.

With a sigh, I turned my attentions back to the Soul Reaper. “It is you who will save them or kill them, Nagato.”

He clinched his eyes shut. “I will not let them die!” He trembled with the force of his passioned words, and his tears flew in glittering drops.

“Then you know what you have to do.” It was cruel. I knew this, and it unnerved me I should care in anyway. What was this boy, tired to the destroyed throne by his own _Zanpakuto_ , to me? _Yet…_

“Ngh! Ah!” He made the strangled sounds, pulling me from my thoughts, as his body jerked and the white ribbon piercing his chest went black. Shuddering and struggling for breath, he collapsed back, letting the change seep through him. No more fighting. Not for himself.

“A wise choice, Nagato,” I said, kneeling before him and taking the hand that lay limp in his lap. _Yet…_ Yet, I could not distance myself from that almost pity. I could not allow him to surrender to his own shattering demise without the comfort of a hand to grasp.

“ _Y-yakusoku shite_ , he said, tear stained face bent over our intertwined hands, accepting of the comfort. “Promise me.”

My hand tightened on his, oh so delicate one. “I am a god bound by my word. They will live for what you’ve done.

Warm, salt drops fell on my flesh, tingling along my senses. “ _Doumo arigatou gozaimasu_.”

Ah, the boy. So polite, even in death, even to his executioner. Within me, within the mortal form I had cloaked myself in, I felt again the need to offer comfort to this Soul Reaper in my grasp.

“Be still and there will be less pain. Be still and allow me to you a story while we wait for them to arrive.”

† † †

Be still and allow me to unburden myself to you, to alleviate this sense of pity through tale and admission of truth.

I was with you your first day from the Academy, Nagato, your guardian deity. I watched you run panting and cursing yourself through the streets of the _Seireitei_ , your black _Shihahushō_ fluttering about you, the streets a narrow tunnel in your vision and the speed of your onrush. Yes, I was with you, as I was along every point of your path to this place. Remember this fact as I tell you your story through my eyes, as I viewed it, for it means I know it truer than you. I know your story through the eyes and minds of your friends and so I know it in ways you never could.

In your typical form, you found yourself in trouble and you knew it. When you saw the two Soul Reapers ahead of you, you understood them to be a hope even as the bald one turned his incredulous look on you.

“S _-sumimasen_!” you called, sliding to stop before them. “P-pardon!” you panted next, bent over, hands braced on knees, breathing heavy. “ _G-gomen-nasai_ ,” you stammered finally, standing up. “Sorry to disturb you, but do you know the way to the Sixth Squad barracks?”

The bald one frowned at you in what you would come to think of as usual, grouchy Soul Reaper fashion. “Sixth Squad? What the hell you want to go see them for?”

The other _Shinigami_ , the one with the perfect hair and colored fringe extending from his eyebrows, the one you couldn’t help but think of as Feather Eyebrows for that reason, made a small sound and said, “Now come, Ikkaku, don’t be cruel. Can’t you see the boy’s in some misfortune.” To you, “Oh dear. Are you lost?”

“ _Hai! Gomen-nasai!_ ” you said, fumbling in your _Shihahushō_ , almost dropping the papers you pulled from an inner pocket. Always so clumsy and ingraceful when not holding a sword. “I’ve just graduated from the Academy and my orders say to report to the Sixth Squad barracks at day break, but it’s midday and I can’t find the barracks. I’ve been that way,” you pointed north along a path of the four-way intersection where you three _Shinigami_ stood talking, “and that, and that, and that,” you added pointing south, west, and east in succession, “but I’m hopeless. I’m afraid I’ve never been much good at anything, apart from being strong.”

“Being strong,” Ikkaku repeated, turning a different kind of frown on you as he studied your diminutive form, measured your slight age (surely no more than thirteen or fourteen), and pondered your mellow Spiritual Pressure.

“Ah,” you said, shifting on your feet, anxious to be away, but torn by the pleasure of speaking to fellow _Shinigami_ as equals. This had been so hard for you in the Academy. The students all so wary and resentful, the instructors too admiring. “It was made much of in the Academy. That’s why I was recommended for graduation after only two year and given my choice of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads.”

Ikkaku flinched away, balancing on one foot in a rather ridiculous overreaction you would also come to think of as common for Soul Reapers. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” He balled his hands into fists and practically shouted in your face, which you bore with your accustomed unaffected nature. “If you’re really all that good why the hell’d you choose to join Sixth Squad?!” He thumped a thumb into his chest. “Our squad, Squad Eleven is where the strongest Soul Reapers are!”

“Don’t mind him,” Feather Eyebrows said, putting a hand on Ikkaku’s shoulder and leaning over it to smile at you. Causing Ikkaku to growl and a throb to pop out on his forehead. “I’m sure you had your reasons for choosing Sixth Squad. And, they’re none of our business of course!” he added, stepping back to fan his face with his hand.

“Still,” Ikkaku ground out, the throb continuing to pulse on his forehead, “if you’re really that good you should come spar with us at the Eleventh Squad barracks sometime.” It was a feign only. An attempt to make you concede your all too simply spoken statement. A statement made in what he assumed was a graduate’s over confidence. You did not see it so, though. In your typical way, you saw only the invitation.

“Ah!” the exclamation escaped you on a flash of pleasure. “It would be my pleasure!”

“Eee!” Both your chance companions made the sound and flinched away before leaning too close to examine you with dubious expressions.

“I think he actually means it,” Ikkaku said.

“I think he does. How strange. Of course, sparing will have to wait until you’re out of trouble for being this late.”

“Ah!” The sound sprang out of you as you realized you had forgotten your purpose entirely. “ _Kuso_!” You described a full circle on the pavement. “The barracks! Which way?!”

Both of your watchers pointed behind you. “Back the way you came. Turn left at the first intersection and right at the one after. The barracks will be right ahead of you. It’s the big building with the Camellia kanji sign above its gate. You can’t miss it.”

“ _Arigatou_!” you offered as you dashed off. Only to pause and spin back. “I am Nagato!”

“Ikkaku,” the bald one replied, rubbing the back of his shinny head. “Ikkaku Madarame, Eleventh Squad, third seat.”

“Yumichika Ayasegawa, Eleventh Squad, fifth seat,” Feather Eyebrows added with a wave. “You should hurry along now.”

“Ah!”

“What an unusual boy,” Yumichika noted, when your hastening form was out of ear shot.

“Yeah. Did he even have his _Zanpakuto_ with him?”

“Umm, I don’t think so.”

“I hope that Abarai doesn’t give him too much hell.”

† † †

You raced along the way Ikkaku had detailed for you, panting, brushing through unsuspecting groups of Soul Reapers, and offering fervent, but over the shoulder, pleas for forgiveness. Indeed, doing everything short of taking to the rooftops and preforming _shunpo_ in order to reach your destination. There were angry shouts and mutters behind you, but you paid them no mind.

This display of discourtesy, though out of character for you, produced its desired effect. The gate of the barracks rose before you, tall and arched and conspicuous, so you wondered how you could have ever missed it. You careened through the gate and into the barracks to collide with a Soul Reaper with long, crimson hair tied back in a ponytail, widow’s peaks, and patterned tribal tattoos.

Both you and this unknown _Shinigami_ ended sprawled on the floor amid curses.

“ _Kuso_!” the spiky haired one said, sitting up and rubbing his head. “What the hell?”

“ _G-gomen-nasai_!” you exclaimed, springing, not up, but to your knees where you prostrated in your most abject bow, reiterating apologies.

“Yeah, yeah.” The spiky haired man stood, still rubbing at a pain. “Who the hell are you anyway?”

“Oh! Ah!” Still on your knees, you began searching through your _Shihahushō_ for your transfer papers, wondering how it was something you just held could have become misplaced so quickly. A pulsing point had appeared on the tattooed face above you before you at last laid hold of them and held them out. “Nagato. I’ve just joined Sixth Squad from the Academy.”

“Oh, so that’s who you are,” he said, taking the papers from you. “You were supposed to have been here hours ago.”

“You, are Lieutenant Renji Abarai,” your words were slow, a sinking feeling settling through you.

“Damn right I am. You have any idea how long I’ve been waiting here for you?”

You lowered your head, so your messy hair fell forward, covering your face. “ _Sumimasen_. I was lost.”

“Urr, special honors from the Academy or not,” Abarai folded your transfer forms and tucked them away, “you’re just lucky the Captain isn’t here. He prides himself on his company being known for our strict adherence to rules. As it is, I don’t have time to deal with you.” Renji stepped around you, where you still knelt on the floor, and strode away, aiming over his shoulder: “I have my own work to do. But, as you weren’t here for duty assignment, you can clean the barracks while the Squad is gone. Just stay out of the Captain’s office!”

“ _Hai_ ,” you said low, not raising your head. Knowing you as I did, even then, I understood you were sad and shamed. Despite yourself, always so sensitive to disgrace.

But, you did not stay still long. The rest of the day, I watched as you alternately swept, stood sighing over the broom handle, mopped, scrubbed, knelt sighing despairingly into the mound of your own suds (which covered you), shinned, and repeated. All with a resigned, disinterested, yet serious expression. Inside and out the barracks you popped with _shunpo_ , wiping glass, and shooing unnoticed spiders away with gentle fingers. Occasionally, allowing one of the delicate creatures to dangle from your slender hands for a while to relieve your boredom until you could set it down in the street to scuttle away.

Your lack of stimulation can be blamed more than weariness for what Abarai found when he returned. Sixth Squad trailed back, mostly en masse, from their various missions. I looked on while they recounted victories and wound down, until one glanced up to see the barracks.

“The hell,” she said, drawing Renji’s attention to the object in question.

“Eh,” the Lieutenant made the wordless sound of surprise before exclaiming, “That kid!” and dashing into the barracks’ main hall to find you asleep on your feet, your arms around the broom, dirt on your face, cobwebs in your hair, and a forgotten spider perched on your shoulder.

You breathed softly in some dream and Renji looked at you with his eye twitching as other _Shinigami_ began filing in, exclaiming, “It’s shinny in here too!”

“Grr,” Abarai growled. “Hey kid! Nagato!”

You came awake at your name, seeing only the displeased face of your superior and thinking only you’d been asleep.

“ _Gomen-nasai_ , Abarai-sama!” you said, dropping to your knees. And, incidentally, dropping the broom which had been propping you up. So clumsy, always, when not holding a sword… The broom fell toward Renji’s head even as you saw it and connected with his head even as you reached out both hands to catch it, uttering another quiet, despairing, “ _Gomen-nasai_.”

“You always this clumsy?” Abarai queried, a lump already rising conspicuously on his tattooed forehead.

“ _Hai_ ,” you offered with not much hope.

Renji’s other eye began twitching at the thought of what a long experience dealing with you was going to be. Rubbing at the sore spot on his head, he said, “You didn’t do a half bad job of cleaning, so I’ll let it go this time. But, be more careful from now on. And, be at duty assignment tomorrow.”

“ _Hai. Sumimasen_.”

Having been excused, you took the opportunity to remove yourself from your superior’s scrutiny and your squad members’ curiosity. As you did when you wanted solitude and comfort, you went to the roof. The stars of Soul Society overspread the heavens above you and you searched out the constellations which remained the same in the _Seireitei_ as in _Jinja_ district. You were just slipping down into mediation when you heard the familiar voices below.

† † †

In truth, your peculiarities had left an impression on Ikkaku and Yumichika. At least enough for them to be curious about the strange boy who didn’t even think to carry his _Zanpakuto_ but accepted invitations to spar with two seat captions from Eleventh Squad as though they were invitations for sushi and sake. At least enough for them to decide to walk passed the Sixth Squad barracks on the evening of their free day.

“I wonder how he got on with Abarai.”

“My guess is not well,” Ikkaku said, massaging the back of his neck with one hand. “I have a feeling the kid had a way of getting on Renji’s bad side.”

“Umh, you’re probably right.”

The next moment they were both flinching as you dropped with grace before them.

“Good evening Madarame-san, Ayasegawa-san.”

“Eh,” the sound squeezed out of Ikkaku. “Nagato!” He tilted his head back. “What were you doing on the roof?”

“Ah, meditating.”

Both of the Soul Reapers’ faces fell and grayed in a way you would come to understand meant incredulity.

“Meditating,” Ikkaku repeated.

“ _Hai_.” You lowered your head, letting your hair fall in your face. “Though, to be honest, I was also trying to stay out of Abarai-sama’s way. Ah! It’s not that I mind,” you were quick to add, raising your hands and waving them in a placating gesture. “I like roofs. I’ve never been good with sleeping in buildings.”

Ikkaku’s eye began to twitch as Renji’s had after the broom incident. “You’ve never been good with, sleeping in buildings.”

“Never mind that,” Yumichika said with a flip of his hand. “What happened with Abarai?”

“He said as I missed duty assignment, I could clean the barracks. It’s not that I mind!” you repeated with a mimic of your pervious placating gesture. Your hands lowered, and your head slipped back down. “It’s just it was so boring. I finished cleaning the barracks well before Abarai-sama returned, so I cleaned them again. Then again and again.”

“Egh, you cleaned the barracks four times!” Ikkaku turned his attention on the building he had only been partly cognizant of until that point. “Eek, is that why it’s so shinny?!”

“Oh my, it practically glitters!” Yumichika enthused, sparkling a bit himself.

“ _Hai_ ,” you agreed, pushing some hair back. “I think I may have done too much. Abarai-sama did not seem pleased. I’ve been wondering if I should put some of the spiders back.”

“Like the one on your shoulder?”

At your confused look, Ikkaku pointed. You followed the bald Soul Reaper’s indication, turning your head to find the forgotten spider still perched where you had left it. It waved two thin forelegs at you, as if pleased to be noticed.

“Ah,” you extended your hand to the creature, “I missed one.” The spider scampered unto your fingertips and hung there from a thread as Ikkaku and Yumichika’s faces dropped and paled again.

You squatted down and set the spider on the ground, shooing it with the fingers of both hands. The arachnid waved its forelegs at you again, as if requesting a return to your shoulder. “ _Iie, iie_ ,” you said, flicking your fingers at it again, until it scampered away, “none of that.”

Standing up, you watched your companion go. “It’s just as well. They’ll most likely be better off somewhere else.”

Your head tilted forward again, your hair falling over your face, your expression slipping into something other than before. How well I know you, Nagato. Even then I knew this pose, this cast about you for what it was. Not sensitivity in the moment, but deep and lingering sadness. The scars of maturity you so seldom allowed to show.

Ikkaku and Yumichika sensed it. The difference in the you before them and the you they thought they were beginning to know.

“Hey, kid- Nagato,” Ikkaku began, sober of a sudden. “you want to join us for some food?”

“Ah.” Your mood lightened, though did not entirely fall away. “Food?”

“Yeah. Yumichika and I were going for ramen and dumplings.”

“ _Arigatou gozaimasu_ ,” you said with a deep bow at the waist. “I would, but I have not trained today and cannot neglect this. Also, I don’t think I should risk any situation where I could annoy Abarai-sama further, just now.”

“Perfectly understandable,” Yumichika soothed. “But you really must join us sometime when Renji has cooled off.”

“ _Hai_. I would very much like to spar with you both.”

This time there was no incredulity from your fellows, and no attempt to make you renege on your statement. Ikkaku grinned. “I’m beginning to want to see what you’ve got, Nagato. Once things settle down, you’ve got a sparring match here.”

“The same can be said for me.” Yumichika closed his eyes. “It will be fascinating to see what fighting style such an interesting person as yourself might have.”

“I will look forward to it. _Arigatou_.” Another bow. “If you will excuse me, I should train.”

“See ya around, Nagato.”

They waved, and you watched them out of sight. Once they were gone, you used _shunpo_ to return to the roof. You sat to meditate, your emotions more content, mellowed by the two _Shinigami’s_ acceptance. It was easy to slide into meditation under the stars, certain the next day would be better than the first.

† † †

It was Renji I was with first on the morning of your second day in the _Seireitei_. Your superior stood in the center of the barracks’ main hall dealing out assignments to seat captains and their subordinates. A conspicuous lump marred his forehead. No one dared comment on it. Renji’s face was too dangerous for that.

Yet, mood or no, the morning’s activities went well until Renji called your name to issue you to a seat captain.

“Nagato, you’ll go with Kirahu.

“Nagato!” Renji’s gaze scanned the assembled Soul Reapers, his eyes beginning to twitch when he didn’t see you. “Anyone seen that kid?”

_Shinigami_ shifted on their feet and muttered dissent. A throb popped out on Abarai’s forehead, looking quite uncomfortable next to his other protrusion.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go find him!”

For the next few minutes the barracks held the aspect of a hive of stinging insects which had been stirred. It was probably well for you, you were located by the same Soul Reaper first to notice your cleaning efforts of the night before. “Lieutenant!” she called over the edge of the roof, waving to the man in question. “Up here!”

He found you as you had fallen into sleep in the midst of your meditation. Curled on your side, uneven lengths of your hair laid across your cheek, your hands raised by your face. Deceptively vulnerable, always, in your sleep, the scars of your past melded unchecked across your face even as your unruly hair.

Perturbed as he was, even Abarai was not unaffected by the evidence of pain. At least the pulse on his forehead stopped.

“Hey kid! Nagato!” he called. When you remained unmoved, he knelt next to you and shook your shoulder. “Nagato!”

At last you stirred. Slow, as all your wakings when sleep is altered by meditation, her name the first from your lips before your eyes were open.

“Karin.”

Then you were blinking up at Renji’s face. “Abarai-sama,” the words were low and slow. You pressed a hand to your face and another to the roof to push yourself into a sitting position before any understanding of where you were entered your mind.

“Ah!” the sound escaped you when at last understanding bloomed. You laid both hands flat on the roof, leaning over your knees. “Abarai-sama!”

Your distress was obvious. Renji crossed his arms and shook his head. “Were you this much trouble at the Academy?”

“Yes, Abarai-sama,” you said, too tired even to slip into the accented _Jinja_ dialog which was your stubborn norm.

“Look kid, I get none of this is intentional, but you need to straighten yourself out before the Captain comes back. He isn’t as forgiving as I am, and you’ll never make it in Sixth Squad doing things like this.”

You lowered your head, letting your hair cover your face, at the mention of Captain Kuchiki. “Yes, Abarai-sama.”

Renji closed his eyes and shook his head again. “I’m not giving you an assignment after this. But, as you seem to be some good at house work, you can stay here and try to make yourself useful with that.”

Your fingers tightened on the roof tiles. “You want me to clean the barracks again, Abarai-sama.”

“ _Kuso_!” the curse breathed out of Renji as he turned away. “I don’t think the barracks can take much more of your cleaning. But, the Squad will be hungry when they get back. Maybe see what you can do about that.”

“Yes, Abarai-sama,” you said as he dropped back off the roof.

† † †

The sun was bright over the white circle of the _Seireitei_ , the Court of Pure Souls. Its white buildings, with their cream tiled roofs, glowed. So orderly, those streets, so orderly and well planned the square buildings defining them. All so different from _Jinja_ District South, where you were assigned to Soul Society upon your death, which you could no longer remember. You had felt the difference keenly when you first set foot in the _Seireitei_ and had never managed to find your way among the orderly streets after.

I was with you when you chose to join the Soul Reapers, and I was with you as you first set foot in the Court of Pure Souls. Just as I was with you every time you became lost in it thereafter.

Ah, Nagato. You are not meant for paved streets and clean stone. You know it even now. So, it is natural you became lost your second day in Sixth Squad when you left the barracks. It mattered little you anticipated it and attempted to mitigate it. It happened all the same.

Perhaps it was this attempt at mitigation which helped to depress you so. I know you well, Nagato. Your over politeness to the merchants in the shops, the lower of your head, and slowness of your steps all the evidence of your inner mood I needed. Though, it was your sighs of resignation which prompted me to nudge your steps in a certain direction. Not toward the barracks. No. Toward what you required more.

You collided with them turning a corner. The inordinate number of packages you were carrying scattered about in every direction, while you landed on your backside in an ungraceful tumble of loose black fabric, a little grunt of displeasure escaping you.

“Watch where you’re going, dumb ass!” the bald one roared before he recognized you.

“ _Sumimasen. Gomen-nasai_ ,” you said on your knees, face half hidden by your hair, eyes shadowed, collecting your packages with slow care.

“Hey, Nagato,” Ikkaku responded, cocking his head. “I didn’t realize it was you.”

“ _Hai. Gomen-nasai_.” Not looking up, only reaching for your packages.

Ikkaku half growled and knelt down next to you, to shake you by the shoulders, knocking back down and re-scattering your stack of collected goods. “What the hell’s the matter with you? Don’t you recognize me?”

“Hmm, Ikkaku, perhaps you shouldn’t shake him. Nagato doesn’t seem to be doing very well.” Yumichika leaned in close to you. “What a pity too. Such a waste of a beautiful face.”

“Grr, you’re not helping, Ayasegawa.”

Yumichika turned away, folding his arms over his chest. “Well your shaking him isn’t helping either.”

“Listen, you,” Ikkaku snapped, springing up and, incidentally, releasing his supporting hold on you. He got no further. You flopped bonelessly onto the ground, a-sprawl on your back.

The two Soul Reapers leaned over you.

“Nagato, you okay?”

“ _Hai_. Are you always this dramatic?”

Ikkaku’s face instantly went from concern to annoyance. “Who you calling dramatic?!”

“Hump, indeed,” Yumichika said with a flip of his hand. “You’re the one with the dark cloud hanging over his head.”

“ _Hai_ ,” you agreed, looking up at the sky. “‘A person shouldn’t be so sad on a day when the sun shines so bright.’ She would be angry with me.”

“She?” Ikkaku queried, but you only sat up and reached for a package.

“I should take these things back to the barracks.”

Ikkaku frowned, reaching for a parcel himself. “It’s obvious things didn’t go well with Abarai today, but what is all this?”

“Food,” you replied, stolid faced, phlegmatic once again with your storm passed. In a few easy words, you retold the tale of your meditation and oversleep, ending: “Abarai-sama said as I was some good at house work, I could stay and make myself useful doing something about food for the squad. It isn’t as though I mind. But, I joined the Soul Reapers to grow stronger, and all I seem to do is keep house.”

“Eek! You’re going to cook for the whole squad?! All two hundred of them?!”

“Two hundred,” you said, placid, placing another package on your stack. “Is that how many there are?”

“Eh.” Ikkaku’s face fell to incredulity again. “You didn’t know that? You don’t remember much from the Academy, do you?”

“ _Iie_. I’ve never been much good at anything, apart from being strong.” You stood, balancing the precarious pile. “Still, it can’t be much harder than cooking for my family.”

“Humm, I wonder about that,” Yumichika put in.

Ikkaku made a half growling sound. “It’s just like Renji to give you an impossible task. The least we can do is help you carry some of this.”

“Carry?” Yumichika echoed.

“Yes, carry,” Ikkaku retorted, sweeping up a load of spilled packages from the ground and shoving them into Yumichika’s arms.

The decorated man sighed. “So inelegant. But I suppose it can’t be helped.”

Between the three of you, you transported your acquired supplies to the Sixth Squad barracks. Once the items were deposited in the main hall, you thanked your fellow Soul Reapers with a deep bow and a, “ _Doumo arigatou_.”

“Listen, Nagato, you going to be okay with all this?” Ikkaku gave a peculiar, pinched frown as he took in the sight of the hall.

“ _Hai_ ,” you said, already buried in a box, weighing items in your hands, your face intrigued but blank as you pondered each article.

“Ahh… Right.” Ikkaku rubbed his bald head. “And, Nagato. Don’t worry too much about Renji. He’s a hard ass, but he’ll soften up once you show him what you can do.” Internally, Ikkaku hoped you had something you could show Renji. But, he didn’t say so. Your strangeness was appealing to him and you hung on his mind, if nothing else.

Yumichika felt much the same but was even less inclined to say so.

Yes, I know your friends, just as I know you, Nagato. The hearts of the living and the dead are all the same to me. Only a slender few hide their secrets from me. But we speak of you just now, child of _Jinja_.

Your response to Ikkaku was another, “ _Hai_ ,” and the other Soul Reapers left you to your own devices. And, you are quite innovative, though you don’t know it. The other supplies you had ordered were delivered throughout staggered intervals, and you turned the main hall into a fragrant well of simmering and broiling peasant dishes. All with a face of intense disinterest. So serious and yet unaffected.

Yet, cooking was never something which held your interest. Once more, your lack of stimulation got the better of you as the sky colored with evening. This time, as your fellow squad members followed, and exclaimed over, the myriad scents emerging from the hall, Abarai found you sleeping upright, legs folded under you, wooden spoon in hand, breathing soft in the midst of stirring a stew.

Your superior’s eyes swept the hall, taking in the cluttered mess and various simple, savory dishes scattered about. The room was a wreck, but it couldn’t be denied you had done as asked. How you’d done it left much to the imagination, though.

“The hell,” Renji muttered. He reached and took the spoon from you hand. Nearly reached for _you_ and considered. In relatively new understanding of you, he moved the stew and all possibility of being scalded, before taking you by the shoulder and saying you name. “Nagato.”

You came awake in an instant, Renji’s tattooed face before your own. All you could think as you threw yourself to the ground with an agonized, “Abarai-sama!” was you had again proven yourself wanting. All Abarai could think was he had done well to remove all hazard.

He sighed. “Stop groveling on the ground.”

You pushed yourself back to your knees, but kept your head lowered, hair hiding face.

Renji sighed again. He grasped you shoulder, applying backward pressure, forcing you to look up at him. “Listen kid, you did good.”

“Eh!” the sound was a small exhalation.

Your superior’s voice dropped into droll disbelief. “You somehow managed to undo all the cleaning you did in here yesterday. But you also did make food for the whole squad…” Abarai trailed off, eye twitching, recalling this was only the second day he had known you.

“Ah! I can clean it up, Abarai-sama!”

“Ekk! No! I mean- You’ve done enough for one day, kid. Why don’t you get some sleep, so you can be on time tomorrow.”

“ _Hai_ , Abarai-sama,” you said with a deep bow to the floor before using the opportunity to escape back to the roof.

You sank to the tiles with a sigh. The night sky overspread above you, but you kept your eyes down, staring blank through your interlocked fingers. You would have remained so for an interminable time had not the spider you had forgotten on your shoulder the day before arrived before your fingertips, wavering its forelegs.

Blinking at the little creature, you allowed it to climb unto your hand. It lingered there a moment, wavering its legs, as if reproving you for your dismissal, then it scuttled to your shoulder. You stroked its delicate legs with a light finger.

Sighing once more, you directed your words to your minute companion. “I can’t say I am ungrateful for your company, little one. But, you could have chosen a better companion. I am not much good at anything, apart from being strong. Still, perhaps we can mediate one another. I will not tell you to leave again.”

You fell back to silence. There were the stars and the night and the small flame of your company. You turned to meditation and slipped into sleep.

† † †

The following morning proceeded much as the last. Sixth Squad gathered in the somewhat less littered main hall, while Renji handed out assignments. He was watchful and held your name for last. When there was no response to it, he grunted and shook his head. Then said to the gathered Soul Reapers, “Well, what are you all standing around here for? Get moving! You have work to do.”

The squad dispersed. All but Renji. He lingered a moment, then used _shunpo_ to reach the roof. He found you as you had been the morning before. All apart from the spider wavering on your hand. It spotted the spiky haired man and scuttled up your sleeve.

“Eh!” Renji made the sound. More exclamation than articulation. “What’s up with this kid?”

Still, he was gentler with you, anticipating your slow waking, as he knelt and touched your shoulder. “Hey, Nagato.”

You made small, pained noises, your face furrowing in dream, a hand spasmaticly clutching at the tiles. “Karin.”

“I’m not Karin, kid. Come on, it’s time to wake up.”

Your eyes opened, wet with unshed tears. You turned them on Renji, and he made a small sound, surprised by the intensity of feeling behind their surface.

“Abarai-sama.” Your voice was thick.

“Yeah. You alright, kid?”

“ _Hai_.” One hand over your face, the other splayed to support you. “ _Gomen-nasai_ , Abarai-sama.”

Renji shook his head. “Forget it, kid. I’m beginning to think this is normal for you. And, as I can’t keep leaving you around the barracks, I guess I’ll just have to take you with me.”

“Ah!” Kneeling, legs apart, hands pressed to the tiles before your knees, your face turned animated for the first time before Renji’s eyes. Your whole attitude was so changed he felt he barely recognized you. “You mean it, Abarai-sama!”

“Listen, kid. I’m not doing this as some kind of favor. I just need to keep an eye on you.”

“ _Hai_. I understand, Abarai-sama.”

Renji felt, very much, you did not understand, but was not of a mind to stand around trying to explain it to you. He turned away, not knowing what to make of you. “Come on, kid. We have a long way to go.”

You kept pace with Renji through the streets of the _Seireitei_ , never questioning where you were going, only happy to at last be on an assignment. Yet, as was and is the way of you, this happiness coalesced into something harder. Not a bloodlust. This was too violent and vulgar for you. Ungraceful. The opposition of elegance. No, the feeling was something more. The cold sharpness of steel. The cool understanding you would at last be allowed to do the thing you were good at. The only thing at which you excelled.

This feeling deepened when you saw which gate it was Renji was leading you to. Of the Four Great _Shidai Sereimon_ leading out of the Court of Pure Souls, you were to exit the _Shuwaimon_ , the Red Hollow Gate entering on the south districts. Oh Nagato, I knew what you felt as Higonyūdō did his duty as gatekeeper, lifting the _sekkiseki_ gate for you and Renji to pass. I knew why it was you paused under the archway and looked back and up into the _Seireitei_.

Why should I not know? I had been with you when you entered that very gate on your way to the Academy and swore within yourself you would not pass it again until you were a Soul Reaper, until you were stronger.

Renji did not know. “Come on, kid!” he called with annoyance. “We haven’t got all day.”

“Ah! _Hai_!” you responded, turning and running to rejoin Abarai.

The two of you walked to Second District South, a far way indeed, though, not overly tiring for Soul Reapers.

Your mood was further altered by being outside of thick walls and orderly streets. A high road leading through countryside may still not have been what you were used to, but nature does not order things as do souls, and its disorder you could grasp.

Settled and centered, you at last put a question to your superior. “Abarai-sama, what is our assignment?”

Renji pointed ahead where a white village nestled in a group of hills. “That’s Lotus Town. We’ve had reports of people going missing walking in the hills. There is suspicion of a Hollow lurking up there. We’re going to gather information in the town, then go hunt the bastard down.”

You made a small sound in your throat Renji didn’t hear, and your hands clinched into fists. “How many have gone missing, Abarai-sama?”

Renji did hear the strangeness in your tone, but he mistook it, and how your face hid behind your hair, as a novice’s trepidation on his first mission. “Four over the course of the last six days. That’s why I took this assignment myself. Whatever’s up there is far too bold to be left alone.”

“ _Hai_ ,” you agreed.

“And, don’t worry, kid. Just stick close to me, and all of this will be nice and simple. It’s nothing me and _Zabimaru_ can’t handle.”

Ah, Nagato. Here I must make the first of my confessions, so you may better understand your own story. It was I who stirred up the Hollow above Lotus Town. It was I who woke it and sent it prowling. You may lay the deaths of the souls at my feet and hate me it you have it within you to truly hate. But, as you said to Madarame and Ayasegawa, you came to the Soul Reapers to become stronger. You _needed_ to become stronger, so I placed in your path that which would force you to grow.

So, hate me if you are willing and able, Nagato. I make no apologies for what I have done.

There was no more conversation between you and Renji until you reached Lotus Town. Then (as Renji spoke with the village elder and attempted to draw further information from the town’s people), you felt about, smelling the air and sensing the _reiatsu_ on the shifting currents. It was as you stood in the street and lifted your face to the stagnant breeze and took in the graying cast of the sky, while the life of the village flowed around you, you began to suspect what it was haunting Lotus Town.

Your nostrils flared, and your hands clenched. You were standing so, hair falling back, eyes closed, face twitching, when Renji called your name, approaching you.

“Hey, Nagato. We’ve done all we can here. Let’s get going.”

Your eyes opened, and your head turned toward Renji, slowly leveling a gaze at him he didn’t expect or understand. It lasted only an instant.

“Mmm! _Hai_!” you responded with your accustomed manner. You jogged to Renji and followed at his side out of Lotus Town and into the hills.

The rises were all turf and brush and open ground. There were a few scattered stands of trees, but these were far between and comprised mostly of cherry trees in bloom. As you walked, Renji grumbled words of annoyance at the lack of information he was able to gather. You hardly heard him. Your senses were attuned elsewhere, straining to detect any trace of proof for your suspicion.

Renji ended his monologue with a half growl and a glance at you. For the first time he considered something he wished he had noticed sooner. “Nagato, where’s your _Zanpakuto_?”

“Ah?” you said, offering your superior a quizzical look, your concentration broken. “I have it, Abarai-sama.”

“Where? You know what, I don’t want to know.” Renji covered his face with a hand. “How could you leave on an assignment without your _Zanpakuto_?”

As much as you disliked doing so, you thought to disclose yourself to your superior. You opened your mouth to do so when a wisp of singular _reiatsu_ brushed you. You gasped and gripped Renji’s arm.

“Abarai-sama!”

Your warning died on your lips as a wave of powerful spiritual pressure rolled over you both, freezing you and shaking the very air.

A soft laugh rumbled on the currents, drawing your eyes to a stand of cherry trees where a dense darkness had gathered. It curled outward and swirled with movements from within. Two bright, red eyes leered from between two trunks.

“The Thirteen Court Guard Squads have at last seen fit to send me S _hinigami_. Your souls will be delightful to devour.”

A paw came from the darkness, followed by a second, and soon the whole of the Hollow emerged. Bone white and hulking, it loomed higher than the trees it had concealed itself in. A thing like a bear, short limbed and muscular, with a flat face covered by a calcified, skull mask, and grasping, segmented fingers on its paws.

“Dammit!” Renji exclaimed, breaking your hold on his arm and shoving you back in one move. Putting his hand on his _Zanpakuto_ , he growled, “Stay behind me, kid. This bastard’s bigger than I expected it’d be.”

Another laugh emanated from the Hollow. “Your _reiatsu_ might be captain class, Soul Reaper, but your mind is as dull as your _Zanpakuto_.”

Renji’s jaw clenched into a dangerous grin, as he dropped his chin. “You want to see how dull it is? I’ll give you a taste of my _shikai_.” He drew his sword, running his hand along the length of the blade. “Howl, _Zabimaru_!” The blade swirled with gray mist, reforming itself into a thing of six segmented parts, each wider than the one before, starting at the hilt. Two pick-like protrusions extended from the sixth and final segment, the front larger than the back.

Abarai held the hilt in one hand and braced the blunt side of the blade on his shoulder with another feral grin. His spiritual pressure was high, and he looked like what he was, a sub-captain of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads.

“You ready for it, bastard! _Zabimaru_ will slice you to shreds!”

“ _Go chūi kudasai_ , Abarai-sama.” Your words were soft, falling fully into _Jinja_ dialect as you considered the difference in their _reiatsu_. Being what you were, you were not one to interfere with a fight when asked not to. But, you did not like what it was you felt.

“Sure, kid. Just stay behind me and this’ll be over quick.”

“Ahhhhahhhh!” With the battle cry, Renji charged the Hollow. A small sound escaped you and your hands clenched to fists, wishing he had not given that order twice.

Renji was only partly right. What followed ended quick, but not quickly.

He aimed his blow at the Hollow’s face, intending to split the mask in two and end it. The Hollow made no move until the last, merely catching the blow with its paws before its face and holding the blade with its grasping fingers. While Renji strained forward, attempting to cut the beast, it rumbled another laugh.

“Your little friend warned you to take caution, captain class. Now, I have you in my snare.”

Renji’s face twisted as he saw, rising above the Hollow’s shoulders, a cloud of tentacles, writhing and snapping. “Dammit!” he swore, attempting to wrench his sword from the Hollow’s grasp. Its hold was iron as its tentacles shot downward to spear the Soul Reaper.

Dirt and grass swirled up to mix in eddies with cherry blossoms torn to petals. Hollow thuds resounded and the ground beneath your feet shuddered. Renji, though, escaped uninjured. He settled lightly on his feet some way back from the pierced earth, his sword hilt in his hand. Stretching between Renji and the Hollow were four segments of _Zabimaru_ , connected by threads to the top two segments still in the Hollow’s paws.

“Snare, huh?” Renji said, straightening. “Looks like you didn’t catch much.”

The Hollow threw down the segments of _Zabimaru_ in disgust. “Whelp.”

With a grunt, Renji pulled back on the hilt of his sword, expertly using the obdurate segments of _Zabimaru_ like a whip to encircle the flailing tentacles. The bone white appendages were wrapped in a coil of metal and _reiatsu_ and your superior barked a ferocious laugh.

“There’s a snare!”

The Hollow offered no response. Like a breath, like a sigh, it flexed its tentacles, shredding through Renji’s _Zanpakuto_ as if it was nothing more than _origami_. The moment was frozen. Renji’s face was incomprehensible as the segments of his sword were thrown about with the cherry blossoms. Then, he was jumping back, narrowly avoiding a stabbing assault.

“Abarai-sama!” you called, tensing to spring, despite yourself.

“ _Kuso_!” the curse fell from Renji amid the dust of his sliding retreat. “Stay back, Nagato!”

The Hollow rumbled a laugh, dragging itself closer to its opponent. “What will you do, Soul Reaper? Your _Zanpakuto_ is broken. I will devour you and your small follower.”

Renji lowered his head, baring his teeth in a hazardous, reckless smile. “What will I do? I’ll cut you to shreds! _Higa zekkō_! Bite of a Broken Baboon’s Fang!”

A wind of rising _reiatsu_ whipped your hair and black _Shihakushō_. You put up your arm to shield your face even as _Zabimaru’s_ disconnected segments shuddered and levitated upward from where they had been tossed away. They revolved in a rushing vortex, then shot in a devastating, multidirectional attack at the mountain of Hollow.

Renji dropped to his knees, panting for breath. “ _Bakana_!”

The segments of _Zabimaru_ fell away from the Hollow, disappearing in wisps of gray mist. The creature sat on its hunches, unscathed and unscratched. Slow, it shook its head. Quick it lashed forward with a single tentacle.

Renji coughed blood in a shocked exhalation. He began to pitch forward, as the Hollow pulled back its tentacle, but suddenly you were there. Renji fell against you, into your arms, and looked up at you, your face stoic, half covered by your hair.

“Stay back… Nagato.”

“ _Hai_ , Abarai-sama.” Your words were soft. Meaningless. Reassuring.

Renji was pained, paralyzed, and confused. Your arms were warm and firm about him, but how was it you were lifting him? You with such a slight frame? It made as little sense as the words you spoke after you carried him to a patch of grass and laid him down carefully, movements tender.

“You rest here awhile, Abarai-sama. You’ve done what you can, now it is my turn.”

“Nagato!” he called after as you turned away, his words halting. “You, can’t fight it. You don’t, even have, your _Zanpakuto_.”

You didn’t pause or respond, just paced forward, your steps measured, calm, certain.

The Hollow looked at you and grunted another laugh. “What will you do, little one? As captain class said, you don’t even have your _Zanpakuto_.”

“ _Baka_ ,” you said in your way of cool sharpness in battle, not so much insult as statement. “Do not even have my _Zanpakuto_?” Your steps only carried on, slow and sure. You stretched out your left hand, your fingers angled to the ground, long, graceful, tapering. “My _Zanpakuto_ is always with me.”

The Hollow growled at you, poising its tentacles to strike. “Who you calling fool, boy? You do not even know what I am.”

“ _Temee_. I know what you are, _Fuku-kami_.”

A hiss emerged from the Hollow, making Renji cringe behind you, his fingers digging into the grass as he watched your back. The Hollow lowered its head, behind its mask, its eyes narrowed with malice. “Who are you?”

“No one of consequence,” you said, stopping your pace at last, within range of the Hollow’s reared tentacles, it did not strike with. You were both still. “I was once a Dog of _Jinja_. Now, I am _Daremo_ , I am nothing.”

The Hollow laughed, a laugh to make Renji tremble for you a laugh to rattle the earth the beast clawed at, its tentacles rattling like the tails of snakes. Its eyes glowed red.

“ _Daremo_!” it roared. “Show me your blade!”

You took a step forward, then another. Cold. Elegant. “A filth like you does not deserve to see my blade. So, I will defeat you without even drawing my sword!”

Both you and the Hollow moved as one. You, flicking your wrist in a particular manner to flip your sleeve out of the way, and dashing forward with _shunpo_ , like a flicker. It, rushing you, thrusting its tentacles like a pincer.

Your collision was a rush of displaced air whipping over Renji, who could only grunt amid the grass and blood. The Hollow’s tentacles were enmeshed in a pristine lattice of powder blue ribbons extending from a curl around your wrist. The tentacles trembled in the via for strength. Your faces were close.

“Your arrogance will be your undoing, D _aremo_.”

“ _Hai_. Possibly. But, yours has already cut you.”

There was a glint like steel flashing and the Hollow roared in pain, its tentacles falling in a multitude of slices around it.

You flew back, raising dust in your path, and stood, graceful, undulating ribbons fluttering from your wrist.

The Hollow writhed and stamped in an agony. Shrieking in hollow, bass howls all the while. You do not hate or resent often, Nagato. But, oh, how you rage when you do. Flawless. Cold. A cutting edge inflicted against your opponents.

You spoke no words, gave no sign. Merely flickered in _shunpo_ and sliced through the mask in a sheet of light, and wash of ribbons.

The Hollow stilled. Sighed as it puffed away, dissolving into white haze. You stood there, drowned in white, head lowered, and Renji made a small sound looking at you. For an instant your _reiatsu_ reached him. A pulse, a flex, a tremor of the air, and he wondered how he’d never sensed it before. How _you’d_ hid it so well.

Then, you were on your knees beside him, your face all concern and worry and so much your normal self he had to laugh. Then choke in pain.

“Abarai-sama!” you said, reaching for him.

“You beat it,” Renji ground out.

“ _Hai_ ,” you agreed. “Rest easy, Abarai-sama,” you added, lifting him, drawing him unto your lap so you were supporting his head and upper body. Despite your superior’s alertness, there was more blood than you would have liked, and Renji was pale. You made soothing sounds as you held your left hand, still trailing ribbons, over the ragged wound in his gut. Hand glowing faintly, you assessed the injury. Feeling the depth and extent of it.

“I don’t have much medical ability, Abarai-sama, but I can staunch this until we can get you back to Fourth Squad in the _Seireitei_.”

“Well, you’re a pretty handy guy to have around,” Renji rumbled, shifting restlessly in your hold.

You didn’t answer, only pushing your left sleeve far up to your shoulder. You reached toward the wound and considered. “This will hurt, Abarai-sama.”

“It hurts already, kid.”

“ _Hai_.”

Abarai watched as the number of ribbons wavering from the coil around your wrist shifted, two becoming four as they unspooled like strange, blue petals. Two ribbons wrapped around his torso, binding his wound tight round before tucking under themselves to penetrate into the wound itself, making Renji grunt in pain. Simultaneously, the other two ribbons pierced your arm at the crock of your elbow. As if this double piercing were a signal, all the ribbons went white. Then, red, beginning where they punctured your skin.

The creeping stain spread to the coil wrapping your wrist and passed it to flood the ribbons connecting you to Renji. When the red, so like blood, reached his wound, Renji was surprised to find his pain was gone. It was like he’d gone numb but had suddenly discovered he could move again all at once. His body was no longer paralyzed, even if his limbs were heavy.

“There, Abarai-sama,” you said, pulling one of Renji’s arms across your shoulders and slipping one of yours around his waist. “Do you think you can walk now?”

“Yeah,” Renji affirmed, pressing on the ground with one hand to help you lift him from the earth. _Pointless really_ , he thought. _But, damn, I want to do something_. He laughed a little, though, as you shuffled on, connected by four bloody ribbons. He slumped against you, hardly getting one foot in front of the other. At some point, somehow, his accustomed ponytail had come undone, leaving his mass of crimson hair to spill everywhere.

“Abarai-sama?” you queried.

“Huh, looks like I owe you an apology, kid- Nagato. You really are everything they said you were in your transfer papers, aren’t you?”

You made a small sound and dropped your head, letting your hair hide your face. “ _Hai_.”

“Then why the hell’d you pretend to be so damn clumsy?”

Your head came up. “I wasn’t pretending, Abarai-sama!” After this initial rush, your words came slow, your eyes downcast. “I really am not much good at anything, apart from being strong. But, overtly displaying my strength has only led to misfortunes. When I was young in _Rukongai_ , it meant few wanted to be near me, unless they wanted to fight. Yet, I was not strong enough when it mattered.” A sound of pain escaped you and for a moment your hold on Renji tightened and trembled. “In the Academy, my strength separated me from my fellow students. They only despised me while our instructors only flattered incessantly.”

“And, you thought it’d be that way in the Guard Squads, too.” Renji smiled weakly. “Well, you can fucking forget it!”

“Ah!” you exclaimed.

“Listen up and get it through that head of yours. The Court Guard Squads aren’t _Rukongai_ or the Academy. This isn’t play. You’re a _Shinigami_! Being strong doesn’t earn you resentment or special favors anymore. It just means you have to work that much harder. You’re strong, you get to protect everyone else who isn’t! You get me?”

A smile touched your lips. So rare on your face so accustomed to solemnity. And, so quickly passed it may have been imagined. “ _Hai_.”

“Good,” Renji growled. He watched your plodding feet for a while. “Shit. I really do owe you one for saving my ass.”

“ _Iie, iie_. You don’t owe me anything, Abarai-sama. If you had used your _bankai_ instead of your _shikai_ , you could have beaten the Hollow. Besides, if my being strong means I have to protect people, then I only did my duty. No one is owed anything for doing their duty.”

You were not looking at him (your eyes being for the road ahead), but Renji’s face was startled. With effort, he lifted his head to take you in.

Oh, Nagato. You did not know it then, but this sowed the first seeds of friendship between you and Abarai. It is hard not to feel for the man who has saved your life, and harder still when you look up into his face and see, not the jubilant expression of the novice who has won his first fight, but the quiet, kind features of one who has fought and won before and for whom saving your life is just one more fight.

Abarai smiled and looked down. He was silent so long you became worried.

“Are you going to be alright, Abarai-sama?”

Renji grunted. “Yeah. Don’t worry, kid- Nagato. It’d take more than that to kill me. Besides, whatever these ribbons of yours are, they seem to be pretty good at holding me together.”

“Whatever my ribbons are,” the words fell from you a syllable at a time as you turned a perplexed look on your superior. “They are my _Zanpakuto_ , Abarai-sama.”

Renji made a noise as though he were choking. “Your _Zanpakuto_. That means- Peh!” He closed his eyes, his lips pulling up into a grimacing smile. “Means I’ve been one hell of an idiot. I really underestimated you, Nagato.”

“Ah! It’s nothing, Abarai-sama! I really am not much good at anything. I’m still the clumsy transfer who dropped a broom on your head.”

Renji barked laughter, then grunted in a sudden, sharp resurgence of pain.

“Zizzz! Zizzz!” Without thought, you made the buzzing, almost thrumming sound particular of _Jinja_. The nonsensical sound of reassurance the rare parental aimed at those adopted to their care, the sound aimed at you so often when in pain or turmoil. “Rest awhile, Abarai-sama!” So, saying you dropped into soft song, fully in _Jinja_ dialect.

The lullaby, and your unabashed ease with singing it, shocked Renji. He, himself, would have been mortified at the very idea of singing to someone. But there you were, this strange, powerful kid, attempting to lull him, your voice pretty and sure and unashamed. He closed his eyes and smiled.

“Hey, kid. Hey, Nagato. Call me Renji. If anyone’s earned it, you have.”

“ _Hai_ , Abarai-sama! Rest now!” you exclaimed, before dropping back to song without breaking stride or melody.

Your words were incomprehensible but comforting. Renji felt warm and light and safe in your supporting hold. Shuffling along with you pressed against him, weaving him soft rhythm, he slipped into sleep.

† † †

Here, Nagato, I must leave you. Or, rather, leave what you know, and tell you a piece of your story of which you have been unaware. It was some hours after you brought Renji to the _Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho_ , the Coordinated Relief Station, that Ikkaku and Yumichika arrived there. After their arrival, it was a matter of a moderate time of shouting (on Ikkaku’s part) at Fourth Squad members before they were allowed to enter Renji’s room.

Even so, the pink clad nurse who admitted them still managed to glower at Ikkaku. “You can talk to him for a few minutes, then you need to leave. He’s in no condition for visitors.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ikkaku said, giving the nurse a quick shove out the door. “We got it.”

The poor, displeased creature could only gasp, flustered, before Ikkaku shut the door in their face.

“What an aggravating group of people,” Yumichika quipped.

“You’re telling me,” Ikkaku grumbled, followed instantly by a curse as he stumbled against an errant chair. “Why the hell’s it so dark in here?”

“Maybe because it’s a hospital, and the patents are trying to sleep,” Renji growled.

“Hey, Abarai,” Ikkaku said, wending his way to the bed where your superior lie propped on pillows and bandaged heavily. His crimson hair was still out of his ponytail and his face was papery. “Well, you look like shit.”

A pulse popped out on Renji’s face and he grimaced. “I didn’t ask to see your ugly mug, Madarame. What do you and caviler over there, want?”

Yumichika sniffed, crossing his arms. “I’ll take that as a complement coming from you, Abarai.”

Ikkaku waved away his friend. “We heard you and Nagato got roughed up by a Hollow in Second District South. We came to see the kid but were told you were both in here.”

“Yeah.” Renji turned his head to look at you, and Ikkaku followed his gaze to find you slumped in the chair he had stumbled over. Loose limbed, your face pillowed on your hand, your black hair riding up behind your head the more you slid down in your seat, breathing light, except when you made small sounds. “Nagato wasn’t hurt, he saved my ass. Then he hauled it all the way back here. According to Unohana, he used his _Zanpakuto_ to feed me his _reiatsu_ until she could patch me back together.”

Renji winced. “Probably would have bled out if not for him. Even when he got me here, Nagato refused to leave me.” Your superior watched your face as you breathed, the image of it as you said you had only done your duty painted behind his eyes. “’Course, once he found out I was going to live, he fell asleep.”

“Umm,” Yumichika said, bending down to look at you. “He really beat a Hollow you couldn’t, Abarai? Maybe he really is as strong as he let on.”

“Hump. He probably didn’t let on to the half of it. I caught one hint of his _reiatsu_ and I-” Renji broke off. “He’s one hell of a weird kid.”

“Yeah.” Ikkaku agreed, rubbing the back of his head with a hand. “But, he’s not such a bad guy once you get passed that.”

“He actually starts to grow on you,” Yumichika chimed. “Of course, you’re the one who’s going to have to put up with him, Abarai.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments, and make it a point to reply to every one I receive. Also, feel free to come hang out with me and a group of other amazing fic writers and readers on [Discord](https://discord.gg/sf4E5Up) and in our Facebook group [AO3 Armada](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951)
> 
> Or even poke around my [author page](https://www.facebook.com/LeoOtherland/)
> 
> There will be some fun things happening there later in the year.


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